Beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-ree-pa-dom...

[Chorus]
I'm a nut, I'm a nut
My live don't ever get in a rut, whoop-whoop-whoop
The head on my shoulders is sorta loose
And I ain't got the sense God gave a goose
Lord, I ain't crazy, but I'm a nut

Is is wetter under water, if you're there when it rains
Is it shorter to New York, than it is by plain
Between myself and I, I wonder who's the dumber
Is it hotter down south, than it is in the summer

[Chorus]

I drove my Cadillac to Vegas to satisfy my lust
Wheelin', dealin', left ol' Vegas on a Greyhound bus
I shouldn't have set the woods on fire while I was there
But remember only forest fires prevent bears

[Chorus]

The poverty war will be over, when I begin to fight
If it took a dime to go 'round the world
I couldn't get out of sight
I don't mind to take the girls out
If they don't mind to go Dutch
Makes me feel like a million dollars
And I bet I ain't worth half that much

[Chorus]

Oh, crazy man! I'm a nut!
Oh, Lordy, Lordy Lordy, Lordy
I'm crazy, I'm a nut!

ADDITIONAL VERSE by FREDDIE 'FINGERS' LEE
(Rockhouse, 1978)

Well, now I'm a nut you know...
And I was walking down the street the other day
And I seen a chicken runnin' like crazy
And right behind the chicken was a cockerel
Now this cockerel was gettin' closer to the chicken
But the chicken was runnin' like holy [pfrrrt]
Hey-hey-hey, the chicken was panickin' a little bit
And he was goin'... pwocka, poc-poc-poc-poc...
But the cockerel was very, very slyyyyyy
Run up a tree, run along a limb
Jumped up a branch and landed on the chicken's back
The chicken collapsed and fell on the ground
The cockerel went, with a rebel yell! Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Poc-poc-poc-poc, aaaahhhh-ha-ha-ha
Well man, I'm just plum crazy you know [pfrrrt]
Poc-poc-poc