A dinner was served for three
At Dracula's house by the sea
The hors d'oeuvres were fine
But I choked on my wine
When I learned that the main course was me!

The waitress, a vampire named Perkins
Was so very fond of small gherkins
While she served the tea
She ate forty-three
Which pickled her internal workings

Igor, the scalpels go on the left
With the pitchforks, Igor, Igor
What a swimmer is Dracula's daughter
But her pool looks more red that it ought'er
The blood stains the boot
But it's easy to float
'Cause blood is much thicker than water!

Dracula, old friend
How are things in Transylvania (ha-ha-ha)
For dessert there was batwing confetti
And the veins of a mummy named Betty
I first frowned upon it
But with ketchup on it
It tasted very much like spaghetti! (Ha-ha-ha)

(Ha-ha-ha)
Goodnight, wherever you are!